Pink Petals

     It's already April, and cherry blossoms are everywhere. Usually, when cherry blossoms bloom, it meant starting to prepare for my mid-term. Fortunately, the impoverished virus breakout had let me enjoy the spring ambiance first time in a few years. It was truly impressive to see white snowflakes firmly decorating the delicate twigs.

Cherry blossom flower landed on my hands during my walk this morning.

     There is an old Korean myth that if you catch a cherry blossom flower or its petal falling from the tree, your first love will become true. There are many variations - some say it is the autumn leaf or the first snow of that winter that grants the wish. There also is a version where your unrecognized and unrequited love is achieved or that you fall in love with the person next to you.

     The first time my friend heard this myth, she made me stay with her for an hour after school to catch falling petals with her. She did not have any crush but said she wished for a dramatic and romantic love to one day sweeten her life, like the one the petal promises. I was busy enough then too but the scenery of the falling petals made it difficult for me to leave. I did have to put more effort to catch up with an hour I spent idly watching the flowers, but it was aesthetic enough to make the experience worth it.

     As I was taking a morning walk a few days ago, a full flower suddenly fell into my hand. With a sudden flashback of the memory, I realized it has been a few years since I last enjoyed the scene of falling flowers. True, I have been 'locked' in a place without cherry blossom trees. But even if there was a single cherry blossom tree, I would have been unable to admire its beauty - I could not appreciate subtle beauty inside nearby things. Glad for the luck of enjoying the spring ambiance, I tried to think of my desperate wish but my mind went blank. It was an irony - I was busier and working harder to achieve, but nothing came to my mind.

     Later that day someone proposed a hypothesis why she thought cherry blossoms got to have such a myth. Her theory was that if you were so desperate to recall the goal at that spot, it was something that you would have achieved, nevertheless how hopeless it seems. I realized luck was something given to support something that was meant to be, despite anything. I may have been imperfect timewise that I could not enjoy the beauty of sight, but it was also my immature blueprint of life that I realized - it was too naive and weak for a lifelong goal.

     Learning a new lesson, I thought to myself - the pandemic is the chaos that broke not only my routine but left numerous broken and shattered hearts. Yet it came to me if it is something to be falling apart because of one single event, it was meant to be ruined. The best way of overcoming such a disaster is not falling in despair but realizing and mending what was imperfect previously. Now the cherry blossom flowers have all fell and what stands in the place is the sole tree, green from the new leaves. After I have learned a lesson, I am having my second thoughts about the tree - not only a tree mystic but also firm, producing the scent of secretive ambiance.