A lollipop moment?

     TED, more widely known with the catchphrase Ideas Worth Spreading, is probably one of the most famous sources of giving speeches. Tim Urban, who delivered the speech 'Inside the mind of a master procrastinator', explains in his speech that "It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past." Considering the positive impact TED Talks have on the world (besides the personal honor one can gain), his 'dream' seems to be acceptable. However, if one only aims to spread an idea to change the world, giving a TED Talk may not be the only way.

     Drew Dudley's speech 'Everyday leadership' shares his story on how he made an impact on a stranger's life and is influencing the audience by delivering speeches on it. His experience of joking while handing out lollipops for advertisement helped the stranger not quit the school and even marry another stranger. The funny thing, he says, is that he did not remember even the fact that such an event happened before the stranger came up and told him that it changed her life.

     "And you had a bucketful of lollipops. You were handing the lollipops out to people in line, and talking about Shinerama. All of the sudden, you got to me, and you just stopped. And you stared. It was creepy."

     "Then you looked at the guy next to me, smiled, reached into your bucket, pulled out a lollipop, held it out to him and said, 'You need to give a lollipop to the beautiful woman next to you.'" She said, "I've never seen anyone get more embarrassed faster in my life. I felt so bad for this dude that I took the lollipop. As soon as I did, you got this incredibly severe look on your face, looked at my mom and dad and said, 'Look at that! Look at that! First day away from home, and already she's taking candy from a stranger?'"

     "Everybody lost it. Twenty feet in every direction, everyone started to howl. I know this is cheesy, and I don't know why I'm telling you this, but in that moment when everyone was laughing, I knew I shouldn't quit. I knew I was where I was supposed to be; I knew I was home. And I haven't spoken to you once in the four years since that day. But I heard that you were leaving, and I had to come and tell you you've been an incredibly important person in my life. I'm going to miss you. Good luck. You should probably know this, too: I'm still dating that guy, four years later."

Drew Dudley in his TED Talk

      The interesting point is that this 'lollipop moment (as he addresses it)' is not as remembered nor thanked as much as even birthday parties, which tend to be much tedious and impactless annual meeting. A majority of hands were up in the air in reply to his question; How many of you had a lollipop moment that you have not told the person about it?

     I doubted - Dudley's opinion that lollipop moments should be more celebrated was right. However, the problem that we are facing may be not because people were shy but because most people could not recognize the moment precisely. How difficult is it to specify a lollipop moment precisely? Such feelings may be understood after a while has passed or after there was an accumulation of other events. In such sense, I felt that his lollipop moments were valuable because they were unexpected aid in unexpected moments.

     I would like to redefine 'lollipop moment' in my way - as the moment that inspired someone to alter their beliefs. This way, not only the lollipop moments become the outcome of leadership, they could instead be all moments of motivation to the major events of life. They could include the moments when advice helped them make the right decision.

     Now facing my definition of 'lollipop moment', it reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my friends who admitted that the school was encouraging education in purpose of good universities and to coat the students' personal history with sugar. He described the ideal education as learning for nothing but to fulfill one's curiosity, like what was stated in the school motto. His comparison between his former school and the school now, made me realize that some people could feel that the school now was more competitive, stressful, and strict.

     So I told him what I thought - that his notions were indeed correct, yet was also the best place to attain the form of the education he dreamt of. Indeed the school motto did not desire the school in the status quo, more likely fantasized the school in its archaic days. Yet, I told him that because this was the school that once partially met the educational ideals - the pursuit of the 'true' meaning of education - this was also the place that could accomplish his dreams. The bell rang, and the short conversation ended.

     I was probably feeling sleepy when I had the conversation, as I did not recall talking to him on the topic. I did spend a lot of time thinking about it though, so I could easily continue the talk the other day when he began the tête-à-tête. He told me how my thought helped him not quit school, but realize the type of education he should pursue. It was awkward because 1) I did not consider myself influential and 2) I did not even remember talking to him. Ironically this was his as well as my lollipop moment as I realized that my thoughts were not cloud-castles and were agreeable. It touched me that I could actually help others change their thoughts and encourage them, removing the clouds in their way. That is why this moment was the first to come into my mind, among the numerous valuable conversations I had.

     I would like to end my post by sharing my lesson again - that we all can be inspiring, which is the reason not to be afraid of engaging in conversations. It is also important to share such moments, so the 'lollipop' can spread, becoming more powerful. Hence, I hope this could also be your lollipop, as well as the catalyst to the next.