Smile of a Buddhist

And then he gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.

Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

     The secret to a happy life is holding a smile on your face, one of my teachers said. Smiles bring you luck, and keep this in mind because it is very important, someday you'll realize. Confused by the abrupt interruption of a life lesson during chemistry class, curiosity filled the mind of students. Some were delighted to have a break from his famous lectures on water, others groaned in expectation in the introduction of another topic about to bore them again.

Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci

     Of course, it is weird to have a wide smile on your face without a reason, he continued, so 'smiling' should be done meticulously. A perfect smile should be like how Mona Lisa is smiling or what the ancient Koreans carved in the rock cliff, he explained, the compromise between peaceful but not too intense beauty. Don't you want to change your lives? Go ahead and try smiling. While the teacher walked around to see if anyone successfully met his demands of displaying the beauty requiring scrupulous attention, laughter filled the office.

서산마애삼존불 (Buddha triad carved on a rock cliff in Gayasan Mountain, Unsan-myeon, Seosan, Chungcheongnam-do) also known as the "Smile of Baekje(백제의 미소)"

     Smiles starting laughter in class are not the ones we are looking for, he said, there are smiles that could be worn casually throughout your daily lives. The class fell silent. I did not know how, too, until a monk at a temple taught me during a temple stay. Everyone should go temple staying, it is the best way to learn the important principles of life. Anyways, the perfect way is to stick your tongue behind your foreteeth. That way, your smile will look calming and assuring, effective than whatsoever.

     A few students burst into waves of laughter, exchanging glances full of sneering. The teacher smiled, understandingly. Someday, he said quietly, you'll realize the power of how smiling can change your life.

     I had been one of the doubting students, agreeing that smiles are important, but not to that extent. What made me suddenly recall this lecture in such a random time and place was a picture on my desk. A picture I took with my friend on the graduation day, whom I haven't seen after he went to a different school. Since then I hadn't been able to contact him, partially because he was busy, and vice versa. Losing the friendly bond that grew between us, a sentence summarized our relationship: It's only because we are high school students. 

     I had to admit, the busy schedule and inhumane amount of tasks given to students enforced complete concentration on schoolwork, nothing else. Eventually, my relationship with my friends weakened. I longed to be at my nook, undisturbed, as I were always at a few years ago.

     Then a faint smile was all that was left, from the photo symboling the childhood reminiscence. The paler it grew, the stronger it became - until the emptiness won over sweetness. I had to admit, I had been neglecting the power of memory reinforcing humanistic bond.

     Though it may come to you in different ways, it is not the 'smiling' that is important, but the mindset to be smiling itself is valuable. My moment has become valuable because of our trials to smile to the camera. Despite that it was a sheer moment we shared, the connection was the catalyst for the blooming of the warmth between us. And that was probably what a monk at the temple understood and was trying to tell my teacher, who tried to also deliver it to us.

How I met my friend, M-M (Modern Message-in-a-Bottle)

     You wake up to find another inbox full of mails. Your phone is full of alarms from Facebook, Kakao Talk, and other apps, which turns out as a mixture of work and hobbies. After taking shower you find more alarms have arrived, but only to find repetitive and irrelevant notices. Probably having missed some important messages, you are frustrated by some trivial and unnecessary alarms messing your phone.

     You get to work, find some missed messages via some conversations, reply to them. You send few more messages notifying important information to those who haven't checked your previous notification. You find inbox exploding once more, frustrated by those who send irrelevant messages and those who do not check important posts you have been notifying everyone about. Soon worn out, you are exhausted from the endless relay of human interaction.

     This was not the way how communication worked in the past. They were slowed down by practical barriers; long distances and illiteracy were the biggest reasons for the delay in delivering information. None of such problems occurred - until Meucci or Bell invented the phone, and Zuckerberg invented Facebook, starting the era of instant exchange.

     You have a notification by App Store. Interested in the new recommendation, you go in to find an app named 'Slowly'. Desiring to change the problem of instant messaging, where writing loses its value more than it deserves, this app delivers the mail to your pen pal after a certain amount of time passes, depending on the sender and receiver's locations. Instead of noisy apps that rings your phone every second, you have a feeling this would be the app you wanted to have.

The Guinness World Record for world's oldest message-in-a-bottle.

      You are reminded of an article you have recently read. Une bouteille à la mer est retrouvée 108 ans plus tard sur une plage de la mer du Nord, or A bottle at the sea is found 108 years later on a beach of the North Sea. The letter was found to have been sent by George Parker Bidder in the early 1900s, in the purpose of studying marine currents. His purpose was related to study, but many others were inspired by his actions, imitating him. In Finland, one retired fisherman sent more than 4,000 bottles of letters and received letters in a high ratio. You were tempted to try if it could be done online. Here you find your chance, you don't hesitate.

     Soon you follow the instructions given by the app, successfully possessing a personal account. A few days later, you receive a message from a total stranger. With some more exchanges taking more than a week to complete, you find someone with similar interest.

     So that's pretty much about how you met Mitrel, your pen friend. You have tried to understand why and how you could get so close to her, despite that you have never seen her.

     It comes to your mind that the difference may be that you spend more time writing through a mail app that takes hours to deliver. Thinking that time may be the variable to this problem, you spend more time writing announcements. Taking time to reconsider every word choice and to improve the delivery of the main points.

     As you feel pride in the improved version of writing, no one seems to notice the rise in the writing's quality. You find that people still don't read the notices. You realize the problem is instead the flooding amount of notices, pushing important alerts out of the way and busying users with insignificant alerts. And you recognize yourself slowly joining the march of those who have disconnected themselves from social medias.

RATE My Chuseok

     You wake with a start. The clock strikes eleven in the morning. Panicking that you had overslept, you hurriedly head towards the kitchen. To go to your uncle’s place, the usual place for the annual family gathering, it is best to go early. Anxious if the delay was your fault, you enter the kitchen, where boiling sounds of oil greet you. There stands your mom, dipping shrimps in yellow egg yolk. “Did you have a good night?” “I thought we were going to uncle’s place.” “We decided to have Chuseok separately this year. Everyone is busy, and besides, Lunar New Year is enough for a family meeting.” You walk over to the couch, where your brother sits slumped watching movies. Together, you watch movies on TV for the holiday.

     How traditional is my Chuseok? On the scale of 1 to 10, I would rate 2. The meaning of Chuseok diminished in a significant scale, becoming more modern and simplified. We no longer have big family meetings, nor go to grieve in the memory of ancestors. Chuseok is almost more like a short vacation or a longer weekend, meaning more ‘red days’ to students like me. Yet, being modern does not mean change in every aspect - even the abridged version of Chuseok keeps the essentials. Though our family no longer holds proper memorial service for the ancestors, we cook Korean fried food and have other traditional food such as songpyeon and sikhye. As our ancestors looked upon to the moon and made their wishes, we also stroll in a park, wishing our wishes upon the big bright moon. The method of celebration changed, which is the reason we cannot call it ‘traditional’, but the spirits remain the same.

     How much leisure does my Chuseok promise? On the scale of 1 to 10, I would rate 6 for me and 4 for the society. The overall burden on Chuseok is definitely lessened, but work has increased in other ways. As the focus of Chuseok became leisure instead of strict rules, more people use it as the opportunity to relax and spend time away from their jobs. Yet some people have to work for them. For instance, this Chuseok I wanted to have ramen, so we went out to have it. I was surprised to find so many restaurants and stores open despite the fact that it was still a holiday. Most of my friends told me they had to go to hagwons (also known as private academy), so it meant teachers could not rest, either. I remembered that dad also was working for the first two days of the holiday. Chuseok may be exciting, but I realized that to some people, especially those who work in Daechi and the airport, Chuseok did not promise any vacation.

     Night comes, and I roam around the park which has been my playground in my youth. Remembering the spots I used to run around, I feel nostalgic. The full moon shines over me and our family wishes good luck to everyone, and to have another happy year. Realizing that soon the holiday will end, I feel mixed emotions. Though my style of Chuseok may not apply to everyone, I believe the true value of Chuseok is valid to all – to unify and pay gratitude to everything we take for granted.

It's raining

Splashes.

     It did not take long for her to recognize the absence of umbrella.

     Though it only took five more minutes to the destination, she knew she couldn't make it dry. Her bag, full of notes scribbled on paper and new laptop, would definitely be soaked in the heavy rain. I shall remember to check the weather before I come to school, she whispered, regretting her choice of packing the bag light.

     She hesitated, before leaving the building. As she was contemplating if she shall wait for someone to come by, she realized time was running out. People were leaving, and any further delay would both extend her hunger and the line for lunch. Was running an option? She pondered for a moment, soon concluding that there were not enough alternatives for her. Sighing seemed to be the best treat.

     Unwillingly, she slowly covered her head with her clothes, and began to run.

     It almost seemed as if time had stopped around her.

     Drops of rain were visible, surrounding her. It almost seemed as if the girl cast magic around her to make the droplets linger in air longer. Dews reflecting rainbows inside them, created a glittering shell around her. Time seemed to slow down around her.

     Frankly, it reminded him of a scene from a movie, where random people offered the main character their umbrellas. That's nonsense, he thought to himself, she must not be wanting an umbrella, she's too peaceful to say that she's trying to avoid rain.

     It was now only him left without an umbrella. The building was vacant.

Puddles made by the afternoon shower of rain.

A lollipop moment?

     TED, more widely known with the catchphrase Ideas Worth Spreading, is probably one of the most famous sources of giving speeches. Tim Urban, who delivered the speech 'Inside the mind of a master procrastinator', explains in his speech that "It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past." Considering the positive impact TED Talks have on the world (besides the personal honor one can gain), his 'dream' seems to be acceptable. However, if one only aims to spread an idea to change the world, giving a TED Talk may not be the only way.

     Drew Dudley's speech 'Everyday leadership' shares his story on how he made an impact on a stranger's life and is influencing the audience by delivering speeches on it. His experience of joking while handing out lollipops for advertisement helped the stranger not quit the school and even marry another stranger. The funny thing, he says, is that he did not remember even the fact that such an event happened before the stranger came up and told him that it changed her life.

     "And you had a bucketful of lollipops. You were handing the lollipops out to people in line, and talking about Shinerama. All of the sudden, you got to me, and you just stopped. And you stared. It was creepy."

     "Then you looked at the guy next to me, smiled, reached into your bucket, pulled out a lollipop, held it out to him and said, 'You need to give a lollipop to the beautiful woman next to you.'" She said, "I've never seen anyone get more embarrassed faster in my life. I felt so bad for this dude that I took the lollipop. As soon as I did, you got this incredibly severe look on your face, looked at my mom and dad and said, 'Look at that! Look at that! First day away from home, and already she's taking candy from a stranger?'"

     "Everybody lost it. Twenty feet in every direction, everyone started to howl. I know this is cheesy, and I don't know why I'm telling you this, but in that moment when everyone was laughing, I knew I shouldn't quit. I knew I was where I was supposed to be; I knew I was home. And I haven't spoken to you once in the four years since that day. But I heard that you were leaving, and I had to come and tell you you've been an incredibly important person in my life. I'm going to miss you. Good luck. You should probably know this, too: I'm still dating that guy, four years later."

Drew Dudley in his TED Talk

      The interesting point is that this 'lollipop moment (as he addresses it)' is not as remembered nor thanked as much as even birthday parties, which tend to be much tedious and impactless annual meeting. A majority of hands were up in the air in reply to his question; How many of you had a lollipop moment that you have not told the person about it?

     I doubted - Dudley's opinion that lollipop moments should be more celebrated was right. However, the problem that we are facing may be not because people were shy but because most people could not recognize the moment precisely. How difficult is it to specify a lollipop moment precisely? Such feelings may be understood after a while has passed or after there was an accumulation of other events. In such sense, I felt that his lollipop moments were valuable because they were unexpected aid in unexpected moments.

     I would like to redefine 'lollipop moment' in my way - as the moment that inspired someone to alter their beliefs. This way, not only the lollipop moments become the outcome of leadership, they could instead be all moments of motivation to the major events of life. They could include the moments when advice helped them make the right decision.

     Now facing my definition of 'lollipop moment', it reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my friends who admitted that the school was encouraging education in purpose of good universities and to coat the students' personal history with sugar. He described the ideal education as learning for nothing but to fulfill one's curiosity, like what was stated in the school motto. His comparison between his former school and the school now, made me realize that some people could feel that the school now was more competitive, stressful, and strict.

     So I told him what I thought - that his notions were indeed correct, yet was also the best place to attain the form of the education he dreamt of. Indeed the school motto did not desire the school in the status quo, more likely fantasized the school in its archaic days. Yet, I told him that because this was the school that once partially met the educational ideals - the pursuit of the 'true' meaning of education - this was also the place that could accomplish his dreams. The bell rang, and the short conversation ended.

     I was probably feeling sleepy when I had the conversation, as I did not recall talking to him on the topic. I did spend a lot of time thinking about it though, so I could easily continue the talk the other day when he began the tête-à-tête. He told me how my thought helped him not quit school, but realize the type of education he should pursue. It was awkward because 1) I did not consider myself influential and 2) I did not even remember talking to him. Ironically this was his as well as my lollipop moment as I realized that my thoughts were not cloud-castles and were agreeable. It touched me that I could actually help others change their thoughts and encourage them, removing the clouds in their way. That is why this moment was the first to come into my mind, among the numerous valuable conversations I had.

     I would like to end my post by sharing my lesson again - that we all can be inspiring, which is the reason not to be afraid of engaging in conversations. It is also important to share such moments, so the 'lollipop' can spread, becoming more powerful. Hence, I hope this could also be your lollipop, as well as the catalyst to the next.

Greetings to the new everything - a voyage to look towards to

Click. 12:25 a.m. 01/Sep/2019.

Glancing at a new change in the month on the phone display and ripping off another page on the calendar, a few things come to my mind. A) My birthday is coming closer (as it is on the 1st, it is automatically reminded) and B) I had a new big paper that I could doodle on. To add some more, I also remember that C) my favorite ice cream shop would have had a discount event a day before and D) I would have to fill in the dates in my schedule planner for the new month.

September reminded me of a conversation I had before summer vacation. I went to help my teacher pack his things, only to find the office was already vacant. Since there was no need for more help, he shared his plans for further months out of school. "Wow, it's only July and we're already talking about September." "That's what adults have to do." was his answer.

     That was only July. Nothing much happened, and the vacation ended, soon came September. For some reason, I was back in school.

     I did not mind being back in school. I did not mind that the vacation ended. But I did mind that the summer was gone, though it was not one of my favorite seasons. I did mind that I had a new semester in front of me. I did mind my incapability of controlling what was going on, and how I had no choice, but to move on from my July-self.

     I did mind flipping the calendar - the indescribable mixture of feelings coming through, visioning white beautiful sands of the time disappearing through the diminutive hole, every time, forcing me to change.

... but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end.

James M. Barrie, Peter Pan

     Though beginning a new month seems rather trivial to beginning a new year, there is an empty feeling compelling one to move on. There is a certain amount of stress that cannot be underestimated. But the stress is also often disregarded while it is also the source of the power to propel us forward. 

Greetings, September!

     The start of the month may be distressing, but this may be as well, an opportunity to be a new self. Perhaps the change of the month is valuable, as it can be the junction for all our lives. The majority get around 1,000 months in their lives before kicking buckets, which might be why we might want to be considerate about starting a month. Yet, no worries - after all, there's still one-third of 2019 and many more months left for us to use wisely.